Get away, not away. London style.

"When we get out of the glass bottles of our ego, and when we escape like squirrels turning in the cages of our personality and get into the forests again, we shall shiver with cold and fright but things will happen to us so that we don't know ourselves.

Cool, unlying life will rush in, and passion will make our bodies taut with power, we shall stamp our feet with new power and old things will fall down, we shall laugh, and institutions will curl up like burnt paper."
 -- D.H. Lawrence

Last weekend we travelled to London by Megabus, courtesy of my mum's Tesco Clubcard vouchers. The journey was really chilled and it was also the first place where I had the pleasure of trying my first ever Muller Corner with chocolate bits, as I would normally go for the fruit option. So now, my mind is left bozzled by the war of the Muller Corners, fruit vs chocolate bits? I need to decide. We drove through London in the dark, so our sightseeing was limited to the miles of international food shops, vegetable stores, off licenses and laundrettes. It is unreal how there are so many on one road.

As soon as we arrived in London I led Will to my favourite wedding cake shop, Peggy Porshen. For some reason they didn't have many wedding cakes in the windows, so I was quite disappointed. We got the tube to Bayswater and found our hotel. It was lovely but it didn't really look like the photos on the website we booked it from. We had a yummy supper of cuppa soups, dippy bread, tea and a muller corners for dessert. It was rather romantic.

We left the hotel and set off to the bar which Will had found for me. A drunk guy with a can asked me, "Where am I?", "Bayswater tube station" I replied, "Well I hate ya!" "oh right okay," I said, a bit shocked. He wished us a good night and carried on walking, how random.

We walked along Park Lane, an exclusive place with 2 bedroomed apartments worth £9million, they looked oh-so-amazing from the estate agent windows, but it is so crazy how someone actually has that amount of money to contemplate buying one of those properties. We saw lots of places where the affluent must hang out or live occasionally. I just don't really understand the whole 'rich' thing - how can it be fun? Instead of going out to enjoy yourself, you're going to a place where you have to restrict yourself by acting in a certain way to be accepted. All I can see it being good for is role play, but hey, I may be wrong, I will have to add it my to do list. We walked by Buckingham Palace, it doesn't really look good at night, to be honest it looks much better on television.

We wandered into Strand and found the road where CellarDoor was meant to be on. We asked a Rickshaw where the bar was and he pointed to what looked like another passage into a tube station. We walked down the steps, which led to an underground small mirrored room full of people. There was a pianist and a vocalist called Bouncy Hunter playing an intimate performance of their own renditions of, Smells Like Teen Spirit, Boots Are Made For Walkin', Sweet Child o' Mine, Born To Be Wild and Sex on Fire. We shared a cocktail called TNT it had absinthe in it and a Peroni and planned going on an Icelandic Cruise one day. To obviously go whale watching, not to stalk Bjork...

I needed a wee so I walked to the toilets which were located behind the mini stage. They were unisex & had a clear door until you turned the lock and then they turned opaque. I walked back to the bar to find Will talking to two guys about something. One of the guys was the poshest speaking scousers in existence, he talked about the toilets being 'Manhattan styled', and implied that he spent a lot of time in New York - oh la de da. I said, "as the toilets are unisex, what if a lady's drunk and forgets to lock the door and men get an eyeful? That wouldn't be good would it?" He gave me an odd look, arrogant bar steward, and said "I have never thought about that". He was middle-aged and not married, says a lot.

We watched the cocktails being made, they took a crazy amount of care when making the drinks, especially when serving whisky, a particular barman must have been stirring it and adding ice cubes for at least 10 minutes. A lady then stepped on to perform, where she danced around provocatively and took all of her clothes off, until she was left in pants and nipple tassels. It was rather entertaining, especially when a new group of people entered the bar, I hope they came in by curiosity so they thought, "what the hell is going on here?" It was small enough to be an orgy.

The next day we spent doing touristy things, visiting Kensington Gardens, Hyde Park, Marble Arch, The Mall, Buckingham Palace, Downing Street, London Eye & Big Ben. Buckingham Palace is a lot more fun during the day. We went to the Dazed and Confused Exhibition at Somerset House, it showcased a lot of weird fashion shoots, Kate Moss' tits, Bjork and lotsa arty stuff. It was awesome. We had peanut butter sandwiches by the Thames and then walked across Southbank. We chilled at the skatepark and watched bizarre dancing and double jointed shizzle - a guy folded himself into a silver bowl. Crazy. I also bought yet another book, i'll probably read it in about a year.
We chilled in a couple of sex shops and then ate in a vegetarian Thai and Chinese restaurant in Soho, where we had a couple of beers. We moved to a pub where we had a couple, then to a bar with blaring motown music, where I got chatting to a tattooist from Malaga which took us to a Rock Bar/Club by Centre Point. We was then introduced to a French gothy dentist who fitted vampire fangs. There was blaring metal and lots of crazy themed stuff which lined the walls. Madness. We ended up at another club called Crobar, where I found a guy urinating in the women's sink. Of course I took a picture of his willy and then laughed at him.

Our last day was spent in Camden, one of my favourite places. We played an awesome video game with guns and shot a load of people. We had coffee at a Moroccan cafe and caught up on some people watching. Cyberdog was awesome as ever, with dancers and a pole dancer downstairs in the sex shop bit. It was there I decided that my future bathroom is going to be decorated like a vampire murder scene. I am going to have a bloody bath mat, a shower curtain with dripping bloody hand prints and  blood bath shower gel. We bought a massive oversized vest top with a multicoloured trippy Buddha printed on it and a massive sheet covered in Elephant print for the lounge. We bought a vegetarian burrito and ate by Camden Lock on the mopeds. Will then bought a crepe and I guessed it's filling. Om nom, nutella and strawberries. Super yummy. We took a lovey photograph & then dashed to Victoria to get the bus home. Bye bye London.